As I sit here I struggle to write about God. There is so much about Him that I just don’t understand and as I even think about writing about Him I am humbled by how vast, how big, how incomprehensible God is. This thought reminds me of a moment in my life. It was the summer of 2008 and a couple of the camp staff went down to Oregon to spend our weekend at the beach.
It was well after sunset. As I approached the sidewalk, a good quarter mile from the Pacific, I had the urge to run. To run as fast as I could as though something special was awaiting me there at the water’s edge. I forgot about those around me, dropped my belongings, whatever they were I cannot remember anymore, and I ran as fast as I possibly could through the sand. I had one purpose … one aim … one goal. My mind was set and I wasn’t going to stop until I had reached the water. After what seemed like ages I finally slowed my pace and came to a stop as I approached the shoreline and what I felt in that moment I am going to fail at trying to explain to you.
My breath was taken away … and not because I had just trudged as fast as I could through a quarter mile of sand but what I saw was God and it was one of the most beautiful, unforgettable moments of my life.
I cannot describe to you how pathetically small I felt as I stood up against that ocean that night. A 5’3″ 140 lb girl who took up no more room in this world than a chair standing at the edge of the most massive body of water. In a moment I could easily be swept away by a rip current and taken out to sea to drown in its massiveness. I had never before been so in awe and so terrified at the same time except for the moment I had been saved.
It was more than just any body of water … it was an ocean. The Pacific Ocean. And it was HUGE! I only know it was bigger than what my eyes could actually perceive standing there in the dark because I had seen it on a map and I could barely comprehend just how big it was. I knew my friends were around me but I could not hear them, nor did I really care, as the roaring waves crashed at my feet. I was overcome with fear in that moment. I had been to the ocean many times as a child and throughout my life. I had seen it from this very spot before on more than one occasion. But this time was different. God revealed himself to me in a very awesome way that night.
That night, God was in that ocean. God was revealing to me just how big He was. I can see Him but I cannot see all of Him. I know He is big, but I cannot comprehend just how big.
So I got in. I trudged through that water as fast as I could until it was up to my neck. As I let the water surround me I was even more scared than I was on the beach knowing that at any moment I could be swept away. It was then that I remembered the last time I had been at that same beach was 6 years earlier on my High School Senior trip. I wasn’t much of a Christian back then and I did some shameful things with my classmates in that very spot which caused me to not be able to walk at my own graduation. I was far from God, even though just a month afterwards I would be working for that same Salvation Army camp as the one I worked for that summer. I was now in that same place and experiencing God’s grace, forgiveness and redemption. I imagined that water was God, bigger than I could comprehend and full of wrath but I was drowning in his grace, His love and His presence. God had redeemed a bad experience in my life with one of the most amazing experiences I’ll probably ever have, something I did not deserve.
We see only a portion of God. We know things about him and can experience His presence but to fully understand who God is and fully experience everything that He is would be like drowning in that ocean.
I look back at that moment sometimes and I remember running towards the water. I knew something was going to happen once I made it to the edge. I ran like I never ran before. The whole experience can be related to our relationship with God. He calls us to strip off every weight that so easily entangles us … I did that as I dropped my belongings so that I could run faster. God calls us to worship Him with all our hearts … I did that as I stood at the edge of the water and was in awe as He revealed himself to me. He had my full attention. God also calls us to lay aside our burdens and confess our sins. I feel I did that as I emerged my whole being into the water letting His grace and love overwhelm me that night.
Everyday should be like this, running towards our Maker, our Creator, our Savior, our God. Laying aside every weight, running the race with endurance, and allowing Him to overwhelm us with his love.
Most days aren’t like this for most of us. I admit their not like that for me. Those are the days I get overwhelmed by the worries of this world, my past sins, the days I believe lies the enemy says, the days I forget who God is and how much He loves me.
But the days when I do drop everything that surrounds me and run into the open arms of a loving God I am overwhelmed by who He is, how much He loves me and nothing else seems to matter.
Youth Department