“I have a recurring holiday dream. In it, I spend a day visiting every Salvation Army bell ringer in the city of Chicago. I drop some change in the kettles and offer those kind souls a firm handshake and a sincere thanks for all they do. And then I take their bells. I take their loud, incessantly clanging bells and I gather them up and throw them all into Lake Michigan.
It’s probably not the nicest of holiday dreams, but it’s mine, and I am who I am — a guilty man at Christmastime who loves the ringers but hates the rings.
We inhabit a horribly noisy world. Ringing cell phones. Rumbling traffic. The wails of Biebers and Cyruses pouring from car stereos.
Exiting a loud, bustling store, the last thing I want is to be greeted with the CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! of a brass bell, no matter how well-intentioned that bell may be. Besides, aren’t the big red kettle and the Salvation Army sign and the person standing there God-blessing everyone enough to draw attention? Do we really need an audible signal as well?”
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(Photo from Alex Garcia, Chicago Tribune)